Something I made on Wednesday.

Dear World,

Yo. Hai. Sup? I just got home and I feel like some sort of chaotic mess. Yeah, a total wad of crap. I swear. I’m here, just innocently typing, bearing with my allergy/cold/whatever it is. I just sneezed, actually. I’m also listening to emo music. Yah, I no ryt? No, Lex is not emo. Lex likes emo music. Lex relates to emo music. And Lex will stop talking in third person, right about... NOW!! Woo. I’m really, really, tired after such a long day of work. Really. I had to write down comma, capitalization, and quotation mark rules from memory a while ago! TWICE! Do you know how sucky that is?! I’m glad I’m out of it, though. My egg sandwich is staring at me, somewhat insulted that it’s not being paid any attention. I know how it feels. –Takes a bite out of sandwich- Yech. There are still pieces of shell in it. Remind me to cook my own sandwich next time. Anyway, on with why I feel like an egg sandwich.

Recently, I realized I had my company exchanged for an inanimate object. I will not say what it is for fear of who I’m talking about’s discovery. But I bet they know already. Does it matter? I believe not. It’s okay, I’m used to being thrown aside like I’m nothing. It’s happened very often in my years of living on this earth. It just gets a bit depressing, you know? As an example, take this story.

You’re here, all alone in your room, in this large house with only three living souls inhabiting it, the other two not caring about your very existence. You know for a fact that you are being ignored due to complete and utter lack of interest by the very person you care for most in the entire world. Your insecurity creeps in, slowly damaging your entity until it totally seeps into your mind that you are not good enough. Not even for yesterday. Still, you go on with life. Like any other teenager, you do your best to ignore that growing mountain of homework piled up on your desk. You’d rather vent out your feelings to a world that will probably never, ever truly care or understand what you feel in life. The beauty of it is, it doesn’t make an effort to. Even better, it’s not listening. It all comes down to the very fact that the only one you really care for in this entire world does not care about you more than he/she/it cares about a certain inanimate object, say, a car. This thing is worth way more to he/she/it than you.

Relevance to egg sandwich? I’m being ignored. I only put in hypothetical terms that it was the person I do care about most in the world. Honestly, who DO I care about most in this world? I have no idea. Funny, isn’t it? I just put it in those terms so that you would understand. Here’s hoping.

This is a bunch of stuff I’ve been working on for the past few days. This is mostly related to the NSC or National Student Convention. If you don’t like reading this type of stuff, skip.

I still have a piano piece to practice. I’m barely past the first page out of seven. Nevertheless, I’ll do my best. ANYWAY, my piano teacher (sort of) is being SUCH a dear. She promised to record the piece for me. Ain’t that sweet? Considering I’ve never taken piano lessons in my life, this is a huge help. I have no idea as to how fast the song is supposed to go. I read notes, sure, but I can’t tell what tempo I’m supposed to set. Gah. It’s hard.

I was chosen for mixed quartet yesterday. Oh yay. Another singing event. I hate the fact that I’m so short. I’m the freaking shortest in the quartet. It feels weird. I guess it’s okay since I’m the youngest. Oh, wow. I AM the youngest in the quartet! Who knew?! So, that’s one more thing added to my list of things to do.

HANDBELLS! Gi. I honestly have no idea as to how I’m going to pull it off. I think I’ll have to stop using the school bus for a while. At least until major practices are over. And only for going home and stuff.

Small ensemble, yay. We’re almost done with our piece. Just mastery, perfection, and the finishing touches. I’m excited for that.

We changed our large ensemble piece yesterday. Some parts sound like songs I’ve heard already (ex: “One Song,” “Put a Banana in Your Ear,” and “On Top of Spaghetti”), but it’s a really pretty song. Very… singable. It’s a medley of three songs, and we were able to get a, “Something like that” from our choir director on the first day! Do you know how cool that is?! Our first day, and we get a, “Something like that”! –Is happy-

Camille and I are starting a band, as you may already know. And it’s going GREAT. We have songs and everything. We aren’t in need of members anymore. I remember leaving a flyer out there in ATC the other week, leaving the URL of my blog. I left it on a table at Starbucks. If someone happened to pick it up and actually is reading this right now, I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. You rock my socks. Will you please keep updated? Thank you!

I sang to people on the street corner today. I was in the bus and I opened the window and I was like, “I DON’T WANNA RUN AWAY, BUT I CAN’T TAKE IT! I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!~~~!!” Srsly. Then a kid screamed at me, “UMINOM KA?!” I laughed my head off.

And that’s it. I’m ignored, annoyed, depressed, but satisfied.

I hope Dahlia doesn’t kill you,
Lex